Colin daydreams of three square meals a day…
Former Sixth Doctor actor Colin Baker is settling into his new life in the jungle minus the mod-cons most of us take for granted. His team has failed to win a single bushtucker trial so far meaning the former Time Lord hasn’t eaten a decent meal in days, his sleeping arrangements under the stars are basic to say the least, and the toilet facilities, well… they simply don’t bear thinking about. Add to this rats running around the camp accompanied by an assortment of creepie-crawlies that make the monsters in Doctor Who seem positively cuddly, and I’m beginning to wonder if Ol’ Sixie realised just what he was letting himself in for.
However, being one of life’s troupers Colin has thrown himself into the experience with gusto and his customary good humour, endearing him to his fellow contestants, and the viewers, who up to now have spared him the dreaded bushtucker trials. I can only hope his good fortune continues as being buried alive with 15,000 bugs for company is no-one’s idea of a good time, although arguably more fun than four weeks of panto as Nanny Nellie in Bournemouth.
Along with not being eaten alive by insects Colin aspires to lose a few excess pounds during his stint in the jungle, saying:
I’m a fat b**tard! That’s the only reason. I’m 20 stone at the moment and I’d love to lose 5 stone in the jungle. I’m not a great drinker, so it’s all down to food. Bangers and mash, beans on toast… I’m British you know.
When discussing his chances of being crowned King of the Jungle, Colin displays the kind of determination required to outrun a hungry Androgum in the height of a Spanish summer while clutching a flesh-wound to the leg, stating:
If I were crowned king, I would be chuffed beyond reason. I haven’t won an awful lot in my life, so it would mean quite a lot to win something now. I’m going into the jungle with the intention of winning. I’m certainly not going to go for the easy option of being fairly boring and getting voted out early so that I can swim around in a luxury hotel while the others battle it out.
The one thing Colin can count on in his battle to secure that crown is the support of his loyal Doctor Who fans, he said:
Bless the Doctor Who fans. I was in the show from 1983 to 1986… Blimey, it’s been 30 years since I did the programme! Well, they have all been faithfully loyal. There have been a lot of rumours flying around about me going into the jungle and I was trying to avoid any contact with people after I signed up – but they have already been very supportive. I know that my legion of wonderful people will vote for me. Bless them.
Well Colin, you can count on my vote, even if I have to hide the phone bill and pay it off in installments.
Finally I’ll leave you with some of the humour that’s going to have fans and viewers alike reaching for their phones to secure the crown for our once multi-colour coated hero:
Hugo: Someone say something positive…
Colin: I’m positively knackered!
I’m a former Doctor Who… Get Me Out of Here!
I’m a Celebrity…continues tonight at 9pm on ITV1.